I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
