so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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