I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
