He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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