I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
