is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Small penises have feelings too.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Couch. On fire.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
