you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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