How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
