what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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