She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
two words: eviction party
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
