you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
