Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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