remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
COCAINE IS GR8
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
