woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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