Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
