Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
