you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Watching her eat just hurts me
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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