Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
