Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
