You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
