Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize