Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
