I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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