you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I am available for nakedness
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