You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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