What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
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