I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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