Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
