How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
