put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
