one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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