I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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