saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
