Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
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Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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