They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
