i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
