If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
