I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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