I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
