Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
