your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
