I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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