youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
