My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
