can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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