ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
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i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
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The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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