ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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