btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
