Your mouth is God's brothel.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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