hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
