Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
