Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
