My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
