I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize