...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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