Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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