Don't make out with my wife yet
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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