am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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