I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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