Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
